Feeling overtaken and old

Feeling of being overtaken

Have always prided myself in not being kiasu. Has got me thus far in life and I do not see the need to change. Kiasuism could even be considered an affectionate term for Singaporeans by Singaporeans and I have thought that quite a sad thing. However, I found out that kiasuism is not exclusively a Singaporean trait. There are many who have this trait. Perhaps, they just have not coined a special term for it. Looks like “uniquely Singapore” has one thing less to be proud of – the state of being afraid to lose.

My seminar session was from 1100 to 1300hrs today. The tutor had a list of required (actually just two books) and a list of recommended reading. I thought, “What’s the hurry? I could go to the library after lunch.” So, allowing hunger to get the better of me, I went back to my flat to fix lunch. By the time I had finished lunch and rested a while, it was about 2 plus. So, I trooped down to the library, hoping to borrow some books to start reading. Guess what? The books on the required list were all out and looking at the due date, they were all borrowed today. Some of the books on the recommended list were also already out. And to think that they are multiple copies of a single title.

Pardon my language but “chau muggers”! I’m Singaporean! I’m supposed to be kiasu, not the rest of the world! They are supposed to be sipping coffee at the cafeteria, smoking or something. They are not supposed to beat me to this!

So, I checked my list again. It seemed that one of the books will be very frequently used. There are 12 chapters in the book and through the term, I would need to read about seven of them. So, I figured that I should just buy the d*@n book to save me the pain. But the pain came in the form of £20. L

However, all is not lost. I managed to borrow a required book for ANOTHER module. For this module, I was given the list during the department meeting last week. So, I’ve got the book even before official class begins. That’s tomorrow. J How’s that for being kiasu?

Like I mentioned, I have never been kiasu. On top of that, I am at the age where I don’t want to bulldoze to get something. Now, regret to say that I’m turning into a “chau mugger”.

Feeling old
Today’s module is an elective. It’s called Performance Praxis and it has little to do with Theatre Education. So, we get to meet other MA students from the Drama Dept who also happened to choose this module. This is truly an international mix. Even the tutor commented on that. I think there are about twenty students and they were from UK, US, Italy, Greece, Portugal, Japan, China, Taiwan and of course, uniquely singapore. And specializing in different MAs (performance, musical theatre, theatre education), we hail from different backgrounds too (singing, acting, dancing, teaching). Interesting.

However, I feel old. Most just completed their degrees two to three years ago. Perhaps, experience might compensate for a lack of youth?

Speaking of youth, you can tell how young people are when they speak or act. Case in point below.

There is this particular guy who likes to dominate the discussion. Not only that, but you get the feeling that he is not trying to ask questions to clarify but he is trying to impress the tutor by asking these inaccessible questions. When he spoke for the 269th time, this guy behind me muttered under his breadth, “Won’t you just shut up…?” In his introduction, he mentioned that he just graduated from university. That makes him about 22? Ha! So much for youth! Intolerant of differences and yet not quite mature (or thick-skinned enough) to retaliate openly and objectively.

I sound like some old fogey already.

Ok. I shall end here. The “chau mugger” who’s trying to catch up with younger people will try to do some reading.