The poor and the strong

Have been doing my sums lately and realise that my budget is tight beyond tight. This sudden panic takes over me because I have never been in the position where I am down to zero in my pocket. It might happen now. Or soon...

All these years, I have been so lucky, so pampered.

There are many in Singapore who live day-to-day. They probably take two meals a day, instead of three and a meal would be rice and one dish. Or, it could even be porridge with pickled vegetables. I am sure some of my students come from low-income families where a meal together in a restaurant is unheard of. They are those who would jump for joy if the family could afford a trip to Malacca. I do not know if they are happy but just by the fact that they could have the strength to soldier on, I salute them.

The other day, I was alighting the bus with some colleagues, on our way to lunch at Clementi. In our excitement of looking forward to a great bowl of porridge at the hawker centre, we forgot to tap out EZ-link cards. We didn't know the maximum amount that would be deducted but none of us batted an eyelid. Who cares? It's just a few cents. But to those who have been saving, perhaps, for a long-awaited Macdonalds meal for their kids, those few cents might have caused a minor heartache. I salute them.

Even when my dad was on the brink of bankruptcy, my mum never ever made us worry about the finances. We just had to focus on our studies. It must have been terrible then. Because I feel now what it must have felt like to have nothing in the bank account. I salute my parents.

At my dad's funeral in Sabah, his friend cum former business associate commented to me, "If your father had made all the right business moves, he could owning HALF OF SABAH now." I just nodded, as if it was no big deal. But I was actually thinking, "MY GOD, Sabah is so big that you have to take an internal flight from one end to another. I could be sunning myself in the Maldives right now if my dad had made the right moves!"

But then again, I don't want to be rich. Sure, I fantazise being able to go a year-long vacations without worrying about the bills. I fantasize about going through an extreme make-over with the famous Drs Martin Hwang and what's his name...Woffles Wu. I will first fix my height, then my double-chin, then my thighs. The list goes on.
I fantasize about buying a condo by the sea. But admittedly, I think being wealthy has its own set of problems.

Still, I don't want to be so cash-strapped that I have to worry about a zero dollar account either. I cannot complain. There are many people who DO NOT choose to be poor. But me, I chose this road. So, no complaints.

Luckily for me, I have a long-suffering brother. This is the same one whom I constantly see as stingy and irritating. This is also the same one who constantly becomes angry for no reason at all. However, this one andonly brother I have has agreed to loan me a sum of money, to tide me through times of emergency. And that is on top of the money he has to pay for household expenses.

See, I know I am lucky. I am just so pampered.

Nevertheless, when I'm in London, I'll still be doing my sums all the time. I see myself spending a long time in the supermarkets, trying to get the best bargains. I see myself planning all my trips carefully so that I don't have to over pay.

I have never been good in Maths. I am those who "switch off" when you rattle numbers, much like how my students"switch off" when they need to write an essay. But boy am I going to return as a human calculator when I return . My mental calculation skills will become superbly acute.

Here's to all those who think they are poor. Cheers!