Maslow Hierarchy of Needs
5th Dec 2004
OF HAPPINESS, BABIES AND SEX
Just read the Straits Times over the internet today. The feature story was about the growing number of couples who choose to remain childless. Some don’t even have time for sex. There are just too many things to do. Or couples are too tired. One said that they did it because it is necessary to maintain the marriage.
Now, at the same time, Singapore is also concerned with our younger set having too much casual sex. I think just one year ago, there was a report of the rate of amorous activities in the hostel rooms in NUS and NTU.
Let me used some warped logic here (CRS students, pls ignore). Let’s assume that these tertiary students who are now having their time of their (sexual) lives get married a few years later. They could very likely become one of the couples featured in the Straits Times -- those who simply don’t have sex often enough. Or at least, so little that it has to warrant concern from the government. My question is, what happens between pre-marriage and post-marriage? What makes single people so willing to engage in pre-marital sex? Is it the lack of responsibilities or is too much free time? Is it the lack of stress?
If so, then, the government should seriously think about re-creating the conditions in which our married citizens are less stressed, have more time and have more social support. That’s just half the picture, the having sex bit. But what about those who do not want any money-sucking pests (as described by one interviewee) in their lives at all? I don’t have the answer. If I do, I would have become the Minister of Procreation of Singapore. Or I would head the Procreation Unit in the United Nations, specializing in increasing birth rates of first world countries. It is a complicated web of getting people to be less career-oriented, less materialistically driven and even getting people to change their definitions of success. In 30 years’ time, I would be part of the ageing population wishing Singaporeans had more kids.
Oh well, there could always be another overt campaign with a slogan like “Children make your life complete”
Hmmm…on another note, since those who are married have very little sex, let’s (another piece of warped advice) stop pestering people to get married but have kids ANYWAY. Yes, yes. I know, family values are at stake here. Just a suggestion.
THE SITUATION UK – IF YOU ARE POOR, HAVE FEWER CHILDREN PLS? Interestingly enough, in the Sunday Times (in London) today, there were THREE articles which discuss similar issues.
In one of the articles, a family planning expert has said something which might enrage people here. He is arguing for families in poverty to have fewer kids. Studies find that the more one earns (the more education one has), the fewer kids he has. And vice versa. TH expert’s argument is that one should decide how many children they can have in relation to how much they can provide the kids. I suppose he could have added that provision includes emotional provision too.
The word “provision” is so subjective isn’t it? Unmarried Singaporeans who swear they would never stress their kids become all caught up in the education game once they become parents. Endless enrichment classes are planned for the kiddies in the name of giving them a head start. I think it is fair to think so but it’s just sad “provision” has become just uni-dimensional.
THE SITUATION IN US – THE HAPPINESS INDEX
The happiness index is an assessment criterion which may be added to the numerous indicators of the state of a country. The norm of just looking at say, the poverty line or the Gross National Product, might change soon. The happiness index could add a little reality to how the people in the country actually feel.
In one question, people were asked to rank a whole list of activities which made them feel happy – the feeling of warmth, enjoyment and fuzziness. The happiest is a 6.0 and the unhappiest in a 0.
Having sex ranks a high of 5.1. Shopping about 4.0 and commuting about 3.0
I wonder how the results would vary in Singapore.
THE SITUATION IN US – THE MARRIAGE BOOM
The number of people getting married is increasing in the US. But there is catch. There is a “new morality” in the US. More and more people are keeping their virginity till marriage so no casual sex please. But the funny thing is, they are getting married younger, like 18 or 19. Consequently, many may get divorced earlier too. So, what happens after the first marriage and divorce? The freedom to have casual sex? I dunno. Catch-22 situation. You just cannot win, can you?
FOOD AND CONVERSATION – PART 1
Went to two separate gatherings yesterday and the night before. What a stark contrast. The first one was organized by George, my classmate, and her flatmates. Hanako and I thought it polite to bring some food contribution. Despite knowing that we would probably be the odd ones out, Hanako brought some rice (very similar to fried rice, except er… it is not fried) and I brought popodums( is that how you spell it?), korma sauce as the dip and some mini satay sticks. In case you are wondering if I have become a gourmet chief, the answer is negative. All the items are idiot-proof. The satay sticks and the popodums go into the microwave. I just added a little oil and heated the korma sauce. Quite easily done. Her friend, Fuyuki, who just came from Japan to visit, brought wine Christina was quite upset she did not remember to bring food and I had to assure her that it’s not the norm but it’s just what Hanako and I wanted to do.
Anyway, back to the party. On the food table, we found just what we expected. Chips, pretzel snacks, biscuits, diet coke, coke, fruit juice, lots of beer. Our food was rather, erm…different… erm…in the sense that it didn’t was not junk food… When our food arrived, it was polished up within minutes. Maybe the crowd was even poorer than I was.
The point of all parties here is not food but the drinks and the people. There is just a lot of talking and mingling. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. It wasn’t that I did not enjoy talking but I’d wish there was more food. Fuyuki, who is quite a big man by the way, was rather disappointed with the food. However, he made it up by drinking lots of beer. I cannot possibly down any beer without food. And anyway, I don’t take beer like I used to anymore (San, leelian, u ?). So, I just ate pretzels and drank juice. When the juice ran out, I drank diet coke. Being the ever-hungry person that I am, I had to drink some cereal before I went to bed that night.
Now, I mentioned that the point of all parties here is not food but the drinks and the people. The exception is when the hosts are Asian. Whatever food I missed at George’s party, the gathering the next night more than made up for it. The gathering was at Hanako’s place. The crowd was about 75% Japanese with a mix of Chinese, English, Korean, Greece and of course, Singaporean, making up the rest. None of the food was pre-packaged and microwaved. Every single dish was prepared from scratch. Every single dish was authentic Japanese food. Even the Jap food in Singapore does not taste so good. There was even sake wine too.
There were lots of conversations too but this time there was good food and wine to go with it. This is Asian hospitality at its best. Food should be as good as the company. Emma, Christina and I ate non-stop for a good half an hour. In Singapore, I always had occasions to pig out and eat myself silly. The (over)full feeling of indulgence in the stomach is indescribable. I have to say I have not had that sinful feeling ever since I came to London. Christina leaned back against the chair with her hand on her stomach and looked at me. We just smiled contentedly. AND…to top it all off, Fuyuki asked, “dessert?”
FOOD AND CONVERSATION – PART 2
I know my Chinese is deteriorating but I did not know it’s become that bad. I was speaking to Ma-lu from China at Hanako’s party. And trying to be as personable as possible, I started speaking in Mandarin. I could not count the number of times I had to break into English to explain something. It was rather embarrassing. Nevertheless, I soldiered on.
I self-deprecatingly commented on my Chinese and that I should really be better. Being humble, Ma-lu says that Chinese is not as important despite predications that China would become a superpower in future. She feels English is still very important because it is lingua franca in many countries.
Studies have shown that people who know two or more language develop their brains much more because of the different parts of the brain used when using different languages. Well, think my brain is sure functioning less powerfully now.
OF HAPPINESS, BABIES AND SEX
Just read the Straits Times over the internet today. The feature story was about the growing number of couples who choose to remain childless. Some don’t even have time for sex. There are just too many things to do. Or couples are too tired. One said that they did it because it is necessary to maintain the marriage.
Now, at the same time, Singapore is also concerned with our younger set having too much casual sex. I think just one year ago, there was a report of the rate of amorous activities in the hostel rooms in NUS and NTU.
Let me used some warped logic here (CRS students, pls ignore). Let’s assume that these tertiary students who are now having their time of their (sexual) lives get married a few years later. They could very likely become one of the couples featured in the Straits Times -- those who simply don’t have sex often enough. Or at least, so little that it has to warrant concern from the government. My question is, what happens between pre-marriage and post-marriage? What makes single people so willing to engage in pre-marital sex? Is it the lack of responsibilities or is too much free time? Is it the lack of stress?
If so, then, the government should seriously think about re-creating the conditions in which our married citizens are less stressed, have more time and have more social support. That’s just half the picture, the having sex bit. But what about those who do not want any money-sucking pests (as described by one interviewee) in their lives at all? I don’t have the answer. If I do, I would have become the Minister of Procreation of Singapore. Or I would head the Procreation Unit in the United Nations, specializing in increasing birth rates of first world countries. It is a complicated web of getting people to be less career-oriented, less materialistically driven and even getting people to change their definitions of success. In 30 years’ time, I would be part of the ageing population wishing Singaporeans had more kids.
Oh well, there could always be another overt campaign with a slogan like “Children make your life complete”
Hmmm…on another note, since those who are married have very little sex, let’s (another piece of warped advice) stop pestering people to get married but have kids ANYWAY. Yes, yes. I know, family values are at stake here. Just a suggestion.
THE SITUATION UK – IF YOU ARE POOR, HAVE FEWER CHILDREN PLS? Interestingly enough, in the Sunday Times (in London) today, there were THREE articles which discuss similar issues.
In one of the articles, a family planning expert has said something which might enrage people here. He is arguing for families in poverty to have fewer kids. Studies find that the more one earns (the more education one has), the fewer kids he has. And vice versa. TH expert’s argument is that one should decide how many children they can have in relation to how much they can provide the kids. I suppose he could have added that provision includes emotional provision too.
The word “provision” is so subjective isn’t it? Unmarried Singaporeans who swear they would never stress their kids become all caught up in the education game once they become parents. Endless enrichment classes are planned for the kiddies in the name of giving them a head start. I think it is fair to think so but it’s just sad “provision” has become just uni-dimensional.
THE SITUATION IN US – THE HAPPINESS INDEX
The happiness index is an assessment criterion which may be added to the numerous indicators of the state of a country. The norm of just looking at say, the poverty line or the Gross National Product, might change soon. The happiness index could add a little reality to how the people in the country actually feel.
In one question, people were asked to rank a whole list of activities which made them feel happy – the feeling of warmth, enjoyment and fuzziness. The happiest is a 6.0 and the unhappiest in a 0.
Having sex ranks a high of 5.1. Shopping about 4.0 and commuting about 3.0
I wonder how the results would vary in Singapore.
THE SITUATION IN US – THE MARRIAGE BOOM
The number of people getting married is increasing in the US. But there is catch. There is a “new morality” in the US. More and more people are keeping their virginity till marriage so no casual sex please. But the funny thing is, they are getting married younger, like 18 or 19. Consequently, many may get divorced earlier too. So, what happens after the first marriage and divorce? The freedom to have casual sex? I dunno. Catch-22 situation. You just cannot win, can you?
FOOD AND CONVERSATION – PART 1
Went to two separate gatherings yesterday and the night before. What a stark contrast. The first one was organized by George, my classmate, and her flatmates. Hanako and I thought it polite to bring some food contribution. Despite knowing that we would probably be the odd ones out, Hanako brought some rice (very similar to fried rice, except er… it is not fried) and I brought popodums( is that how you spell it?), korma sauce as the dip and some mini satay sticks. In case you are wondering if I have become a gourmet chief, the answer is negative. All the items are idiot-proof. The satay sticks and the popodums go into the microwave. I just added a little oil and heated the korma sauce. Quite easily done. Her friend, Fuyuki, who just came from Japan to visit, brought wine Christina was quite upset she did not remember to bring food and I had to assure her that it’s not the norm but it’s just what Hanako and I wanted to do.
Anyway, back to the party. On the food table, we found just what we expected. Chips, pretzel snacks, biscuits, diet coke, coke, fruit juice, lots of beer. Our food was rather, erm…different… erm…in the sense that it didn’t was not junk food… When our food arrived, it was polished up within minutes. Maybe the crowd was even poorer than I was.
The point of all parties here is not food but the drinks and the people. There is just a lot of talking and mingling. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. It wasn’t that I did not enjoy talking but I’d wish there was more food. Fuyuki, who is quite a big man by the way, was rather disappointed with the food. However, he made it up by drinking lots of beer. I cannot possibly down any beer without food. And anyway, I don’t take beer like I used to anymore (San, leelian, u ?). So, I just ate pretzels and drank juice. When the juice ran out, I drank diet coke. Being the ever-hungry person that I am, I had to drink some cereal before I went to bed that night.
Now, I mentioned that the point of all parties here is not food but the drinks and the people. The exception is when the hosts are Asian. Whatever food I missed at George’s party, the gathering the next night more than made up for it. The gathering was at Hanako’s place. The crowd was about 75% Japanese with a mix of Chinese, English, Korean, Greece and of course, Singaporean, making up the rest. None of the food was pre-packaged and microwaved. Every single dish was prepared from scratch. Every single dish was authentic Japanese food. Even the Jap food in Singapore does not taste so good. There was even sake wine too.
There were lots of conversations too but this time there was good food and wine to go with it. This is Asian hospitality at its best. Food should be as good as the company. Emma, Christina and I ate non-stop for a good half an hour. In Singapore, I always had occasions to pig out and eat myself silly. The (over)full feeling of indulgence in the stomach is indescribable. I have to say I have not had that sinful feeling ever since I came to London. Christina leaned back against the chair with her hand on her stomach and looked at me. We just smiled contentedly. AND…to top it all off, Fuyuki asked, “dessert?”
FOOD AND CONVERSATION – PART 2
I know my Chinese is deteriorating but I did not know it’s become that bad. I was speaking to Ma-lu from China at Hanako’s party. And trying to be as personable as possible, I started speaking in Mandarin. I could not count the number of times I had to break into English to explain something. It was rather embarrassing. Nevertheless, I soldiered on.
I self-deprecatingly commented on my Chinese and that I should really be better. Being humble, Ma-lu says that Chinese is not as important despite predications that China would become a superpower in future. She feels English is still very important because it is lingua franca in many countries.
Studies have shown that people who know two or more language develop their brains much more because of the different parts of the brain used when using different languages. Well, think my brain is sure functioning less powerfully now.
posted by changzee at
1:11 AM
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